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Not because he’s a Chinese man, or because our relationship is “unique” or different. I am in a committed relationship with a Chinese man, and I am an American white woman.We haven’t had many problems, he is very open to communication and any problems that could come up we discuss.He suspects, I think rightly, that as soon as he is a Chinese immigrant in America it will be difficult for him to get a decent job.So, in the long term I am a little worried on how we will deal with this problem when I leave.It’s true — the sight of a foreign woman and Chinese boyfriend or Chinese husband is much rarer than its counterpart, the foreign man and Chinese woman.
CFL is like a tidal wave of American men in love with Chinese women, with only a rare American woman/Chinese husband surfacing to break the monotony. Several years ago, when my husband enrolled in a New Oriental class in Shanghai for GRE prep, the instructor warned all of the Chinese men: “If you’re going to study abroad, prepare for four lonely years.” The underlying message was, don’t expect to fall in love — but be pleasantly surprised if it happens.
According to Xiao Yu, some Chinese men could never believe that such a girl would become their one and only. A driver who took me to the Beijing Airport this summer admitted he once had a Russian girlfriend when he was a college student.
But he said he was never able to satisfy her (yes, in way), so they parted.
On occasion, it even creeps into the news, like this story.
For now, though, I’m just happy to have John, my Chinese husband, in my life.We make similar amounts of money and after much argument he agreed to let me pay a few times.We discuss politics, flaws in Chinese society, flaws in American society, love, sex, you name it we can talk about it. Our biggest problem is that I will not stay in China, and he is reluctant to come to America.The experience was so traumatic that he never sought another foreign girlfriend again.