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It was hard to come to terms with it and get over the hurt, but I did get closure in an unexpected and nice way. Moving through different stages with this guy — from heartbreak to dysfunction to honest, real friendship — has taught me more in sixth months than I've learned in years.
– Sadie*Being a hopeless romantic in this hook-up culture is its own special type of hell.
Erika Christakis, a lecturer at the Yale Child Study Center, is a former co-master at one of the student residence halls at Harvard.
She says that during her time there, students would repeatedly tell her that they didn't have time for relationships—a sentiment that was starkly different from her own college experience."That was such a different experience than my college experience," she told a crowd at the conference, which is organized jointly by The Atlantic and the Aspen Institute. It was considered part of being a newly adult person that you would try to get to know people in a more intimate way." Christakis thinks it's because college students these days are too focused on resume-building and career preparation.
– Matt*I’m happy being single, but I also like the idea that there’s someone out there who likes you, thinks about you all the time, and wants to be with you.
Guys don’t ever approach me and people say it’s because I’m intimidating but I literally look like I’m 12 years old so I don’t get it.
Every once in awhile we do something fun like cook together or go out together but we usually just hang out at each other’s apartments.
I definitely prefer it to hooking up because it brings more of a human element back to sex. – Kara*I prefer dating to hook-ups, myself having been in two serious relationships during college, one of which is still going post-graduation. You see all types of relationships, and it just depends on what works for the individual.
But she said she also sees young-adult psychotherapy clients who feel lonely in spite of their career success.
Christakis thinks the future might hold more courses like these, both for credit and not.
Relationships make us happy, and they can be a part of what we need to feel successful.
– Tara*Relationship People I’m in my first real relationship ever!
It's really nice to have someone always there and interested in my day and who wants to spend time with me.(Always with the texting.) She points out that one new Boston College class assigns students to go out on dates—the coursework includes a discussion of "what words to say" when you'd like to ask someone out.Similarly, the University of Illinois now holds workshops on topics like "College Dating: Uncovering the Dating Scene." Duke University offers a counseling series on "How to Be in Love." Students will learn "how to fall in love …If college students were better-equipped to start and maintain relationships, her thinking goes, they would feel more fulfilled in adulthood.