I just figured I had a low libido or was just better at masturbating than everyone else or something.It never really occurred to me that I simply was not sexually attracted to anyone. I hadn’t had sex in over eight years and it didn’t bother me at all.
“I’ve had sex, therefore I’m not asexual, because I wouldn’t have been able to if I were asexual.” “I masturbate, therefore I’m not asexual, because I wouldn’t do that if I were asexual.” “I like having my penis touched by someone else, therefore I’m not asexual, because I wouldn’t like it if I were asexual.” They’ll take events like those, join them to even the faintest glimmers of aesthetic or romantic attraction and use that as evidence to prove that they’re straight or gay or bi or pan or whatever, when in reality, all they’re experiencing is a physical reaction to stimulation.
I had a girlfriend that tried to awaken me sexually, but wasn’t all that successful.
I’d known for years that I just didn’t think about sex the same way other people did.
You’re either straight, gay, or bi, or something ain’t working right, or you’re really a woman trapped in a man’s body and are in denial. I exist, therefore your hypothesis has been refuted. Yet most men have probably gotten erections from wearing tight clothes, waking up in the morning, driving on bumpy roads, and randomly walking down the street. Sure, it can sometimes be caused by emotional stimuli, such as sexual attraction, but attraction is not a requirement. I don’t feel what people mean when they use the word “hot” to describe someone. So much of the stereotypical male identity is wrapped up in sexual prowess that it’s difficult to step back and admit that you don’t really fit in that world.
I doubt most men are sexually attracted to randomly walking down the street. I don’t look at women (or men, for that matter) and immediately think that I’d like to get them in my bed. [I didn’t conduct a survey or anything, so this section is mostly pure conjecture. If you have any objections to what I’m saying, please let me know and I can work to improve this area.] I think the reason that it doesn’t seem like there are more asexual men is that men are less likely to realize and accept that they’re asexual. What about the whole thing about how men think about sex every seven seconds? There’s simply no option for a man to feel otherwise. Please try again with a new hypothesis which accounts for this new evidence. I don’t really think about sex and how I must get some RIGHT NOW or I’ll go insane. If you’re a man, you’re supposed to be constantly horny, always in the mood and always on the prowl. And there’s the irrational fear that if a man isn’t turned on by a woman then OMG HE MUST BE GAY, so he’ll force himself to believe that he’s attracted to women, even though he doesn’t feel anything in particular for men or women.